It's crazy to think that I'm going home tomorrow. The three months have flown by! I thought I should do one final post before my flight tomorrow but I've been struggling to know what to write. I feel there is so much to say and so little time to say it but I'll try and sum it up.
When people have asked me how my time here has been my answer has normally been, "It's been challenging but I'm loving it". There's a few things I've learnt whilst being here that I thought I would share.
1. Being here has put me way out of my comfort zone. Now that might seem obvious to some people, you know Africa's a little different to the UK, but I underestimated how much it would affect me. The first few weeks I couldn't work out what was wrong with me. It was like I was in shock and couldn't shake myself out of it. My brain was overloaded by the new culture, language, people and routine and I honestly couldn't recognise myself. Thankfully, after a lot of prayer and mental pep talks I snapped out of it. I took a lot longer to adjust than I thought I would.
2. Language barriers can be immense. This is another thing I hadn't thought too much about (I know I wasn't very prepared)! Learning a language has a massive affect on the relationships you make with the people around you and without it, you can feel very isolated. Unfortunately, I was a lot lazier than I should have been when learning Kiswahili and so my language skills are only very basic. It's taught me a lot for the future! Although, it's amazing how far a few words can get you.
3. If language barriers are high, culture creates ever higher ones. Tanzanian culture is so different to Western culture. People here are a lot more casual about timing and following rules etc. The driving is a good example of this! Another thing is that everyone is very private. No one talks about their problems or even the good things like weddings or pregnancies. The only answer to someone asking how you are is 'Nzuri' or 'Salama' which means good/fine or peaceful. Apparently you'd have to be dying or have lost a limb to reply otherwise!
People would rather tell lies than make someone angry by telling them the truth and so, it makes it very hard to distinguish between the truth or a lie. Gill and Stephen still struggle with this with people they have known for years. Recently Stephen was sent an article in the Daily Telegraph which tested lots of people from different countries to measure how dishonest they were. Tanzania came out top. So you can imagine the challenge that would present! These are only a few of the many issues that come up. This might all seem very negative, I don't mean it to be I really have enjoyed my time here. I'm just trying to give you a slight idea of the challenges I've faced and the moral battles Gill and Stephen still struggle with even after 14 years. Even knowing the language does not mean you aren't isolated.
4. Being honest with people can save a lot of hurt. Obviously after the last point, you can see where I've learnt this from. After seeing Gill have to deal with difficult situations and having to deal with a few issues myself, it's shown me how important this is. Quite often, we shrug aside our hurt instead of asking someone why they said something or acted in a certain way, I know I do. Tanzanians do this as well and after a build up of hurts, suddenly explode with past injustices and issues. I've seen how the truth, forgiveness and especially mercy can put a stop to this and create peace in what was once a messy situation. Even if it's hard and hurts my pride, I've seen how important it is.
5. Missing Scottish weather. I can't say I ever thought I'd say that! I'll probably be missing here in a week but I have to say, at times the weather has been challenging. Blue skies and sunshine look great in photos but the heat and mostly the humidity really lower your energy levels and up the sweating! It makes what are normally straightforward tasks a lot harder and more tiring. Even things like sleeping are harder!
6. The need here is massive. Tanzania is one of the poorer countries in Africa and seeing that day to day has been very challenging. So many people have so little and have very few opportunities to improve their lives. A lot of their lives is more about surviving than living. Life is cheap and unfortunately there are a lot of funerals. Although we hear all this at home, seeing it for myself for the first time really hit me. It has taught me a lot about myself and the life I want to live. However, seeing the work that Steve and Gill do has been incredible and has shown me what the life of a missionary could look like. Let me tell you, it's very hard but the difference their making, even though small in comparison to the need, is life changing for a lot of these people.
7. I really love Africa. You might be surprised after reading the points above but I really will miss Tanzania. I love how people smile more easily; the colours; the constant changing of the landscape; the language; the lack of rushing about in everything; the beautiful sunrises; bajajis; beans and rice; the kids at the kindergarten. I could go on but I have loved working with the kids at WWT everyday and seeing the joy on their faces that their time there inspires.
What I would like to say is thank you to everyone who has helped me to get to this point and to the people I have met and been encouraged by along the way. First of all, thank you to everyone to who contributed either their prayers or donations, both the big and the small. There are too many people to name individually but please know how grateful I am to you. It would not have been possible without you all. There are two groups of people I would like to thank now though.
Thank you to Dunbar Parish Church for your overwhelming generosity and encouragement and for the particular individuals who had faith in me to make the extra effort. I really appreciate it. Also a massive thank you to Musselburgh Baptist Church for your generosity and prayers, both continue to amaze me. A special thank you to the people who have continued to support and encourage me when I've been away. I can't thank you enough. I'll try not to go on but thank you to friends and family, who have encouraged me and been interested in my time away. And thank you Michael for putting up with dodgy Internet, danger of elephants and posting and editing this blog. Don't worry, I won't go all mushy.
And of course a final and enormous thank you to Steve and Gill who have looked after me for the past three months (and the people in Scrabo thought they had it bad)! Thank you for making me feel comfortable and welcome and for always being honest and answering my many questions. I've learnt so much from both of you and a lot about myself so thank you for making my time here the best it could be and for your friendship. So that's it I guess. My FirstServe experience is finished (in the official sense anyway). Thank you to everyone who's read this along the way and has enjoyed doing it! I know I've learnt a lot and still am learning and although this is very cliche, it has been life changing. The next step is using everything God's taught me and not forgetting it. Easier said than done though.
Just want to finish off with this quote from one of my favourite authors. It's been stuck inside my cupboard for the past three months for inspiration and it's something that challenged me;
'You want to do good. You want your life to matter. You want to live in such a way that the world will be glad you did.'
-Max Lucado
That's something I've seen a lot of here and I know it's the way I want to live. Hopefully, through God's love and with his help, I'll get there one day!
Asante!
Lottie xx